i'd be crazy not to follow where you lead.

before i had even woken up, i knew he wasn't in bed next to me. then it flung me out of my sleep without warning. i could hear faint sounds of the tv on, so i climbed out of bed and into the living room, and sleepily commanded him to come to bed. the sun was on its way up. i had dreams about him and his absence. i dream about him when i don't fall asleep next to him.

even in sleep i begin to miss his warmth, the sound of his voice, his eyes when he opens them in the morning. i miss the way he holds me, the way his hair smells, his hands. i miss his smile, his jokes, the kisses on my neck. i miss the eggs he makes, the reasons he gives me to laugh, and wake up the next morning. i miss the love he makes, his ideas, his stubborness.

i wait anxiously just to be able to tell him stories of what happened in my day. i can fall asleep anywhere he is. i can drive in a car with him for 12 hours and feel content. i could have everything i'd ever want, but i would always still want him.