i'm drowning in sunny light.

it's typically to hard to tell whether i've slept too much, or far too little. this week has already seemed to fly by, and i hope the days remain this way, because it seems as though christmas will arrive in june.

my birthday is on the 7th of june, and my lover's is on the 9th. and days after i turn 20, and lover turns 21, we'll move into our very first home. it may be just an apartment, but it's so stunning there, and there is something about it that gives me faith that this new home will bring me back to who i was. i know i said this in january, but i suppose i never stepped back and realized that although we've lived together for over a year, we have never lived alone. i feel that this is what i needed all along. the sense of exclusively belonging to a someone and a somewhere. maybe i crave the simple joy of sleepily walking down the hallway in the morning, wearing underwear and an old t-shirt, fumbling around in the kitchen for a bowl of cereal. maybe it's knowing that i get to plan dinner for him, or that i can sing in the shower again, and watch movies in my living room late at night. i can't wait for the night where i need to clear my head and can simply sit on my balcony and read, or disregard every emotion as i dive into the pool.