it's 2 in the morning but the clock reads 8:23 a.m. i can hardly stay awake on this shift. it truly is 8:23, but each hour of my day seems to feel like the middle of the night, regardless of the position of the sun. it's exhausting. in the most beautiful times of my day, whether i'm in my lovers arms or walking in the sunshine, i can only think of sleeping. working overnight has led to an obsession where my appetite, mood, and desires are replaced by the thought of how soon i can crawl back into bed. i can hardly focus long enough to watch a movie, or talk on the telephone without counting the hours of sleep i'm gaining or losing.
i've forgotten what it's like to be awake.
what is surprising is i believe i'm adjusting to the shift. my body shuts down like clockwork at 1:30 p.m. for a nap, and then again at 8:00 p.m. so i can prepare to wake for shift at 2:00 a.m. but i crave sleep more than anything, and it consumes my priorities.
that is what bothers me the most. no matter how many hours i've slept, i can't seem to feel human any longer.
Are you a lister?
1 year ago
5 comments:
It will get better! I know it's tough but you've been through tougher things and you survived. You will find the light at the end of this tunnel too.
Just hang in there, k?
Seems like your job is havoc on your body... I'd reccomend some yoga, or meditation...This doesn't sound very healthy.
@mommy: very true. i think thsi is a very long tunnel though :[
@nana: yea, honey i think i need to get back into yoga. once i get into my apartment i think that will be first on my agenda. there's a really nice gym there, but being in the privacy of my own place i think i'll feel more movitated. it will help that i can also go for a swim to blow off steam. this shift is just killing me!
Hey hun. Haven't 'seen' you in a bit. Yoga is a good idea, I'm starting pilates in the next few weeks, but I'll make place for yoga 2. It connects you to your body & loosens your mind. It's amazing.
yoga and pilates are great ideas... Get u back in sync
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