everything is moving so slowly today. the whirring of the fan seems calmer, quieter. even the water in the shower seemed to fall slowly at my feet. i'm not tired, i'm not awake. i'm neither bored nor busy. i'm just here today, in the strangest way. i feel no peace, no chaos.
yesterday was chaos; everyone working so hard to be among the first to spread the news of death. i have no passion for bad news, i just edit it. i collapsed into bed after midnight. in the midst of running around the newsroom, all i could think about was being in his arms, in our bed. i worked so hard yesterday just to make it home, but i crawled into bed, let out a sigh of release, and felt no reward for what i had done.
when i do my job well your television will show you images of planes falling out of the sky, natural disasters consuming lives, trains colliding, gunshots fired into a crowd of people simply searching for peace.
when viewers call, i'm sometimes tempted to ask what makes them turn on the television every morning. is it routine? is it truly just to be informed? i believe some become so enamored with the news, as if it was a movie. the graphic images make their heart race. some out of fear, some out of intrigue. i imagine their faces watching in disbelief, as reporters flock to the scene to bring you back images of the world nearly coming apart.
i want to edit documentaries, films... images that make people travel and dream from under their own roofs. i want to inspire. i want to edit something that appears on television that i had enough time to truly create.
yesterday and today i'm covering the shift of another editor, and instead of working 2:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m., i'm working an exact 12 hours difference: 2:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. you'd think i'd be so glad to see the sunshine, to sleep through the night. instead it made me thankful for the shift i have, and the people i'm surrounded by in the early mornings. even on the busiest morning there are just so few of us there so it feels as though we are all in it together.
i never thought i would say this, but i miss my old shift, and am entirely at peace with the idea of waking up at 2 in the morning this monday.
Are you a lister?
1 year ago
3 comments:
I'm glad you're getting used to having bats' hours. :)
@chocolatecovereddaydreams
i'm not used to it at all! i'm just accepting it.
I don't watch the news, they stress/anger/ depress me. I don't watch much tv, neither. As for magazines, I skip the daily free 'metro' they give out at the subway (newspaper) and grab the weekly 'miiror' that gives me quirky news about music, movies, books and events around my city. As well as indy interviews etc... But you do have an important job, we must keep connected with the rest of the world, somehow :-) Micheal Jackson is dead, I can't believe it!
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