i've immersed myself in music again. i sat on my balcony with headphones in my ears for nearly two hours. i felt infinitely better. i've lost myself without my music, i think. my creativity and inspiration have always been fueled by the presence of it.
however, i think my music contains ghosts. i remember where i was, how i felt, and who i was with when i heard that song.
sometimes they are ghosts of me dancing in my bedroom with a smile on my face. others are of me sitting in the passenger seat with the window rolled down, singing out of someone elses window. the most difficult ghosts are the ghosts of others that return upon hitting play. you know they're there when you reach for the volume and turn it as loud as it can possibly go... or you turn it down completely. maybe this reasoning is why i struggle to take photographs of my life. images preserve nearly too well.
there are nearly no pictures of lover and i. i'll regret that, i know i will. in some ways though, i think the image i want to preserve of us isn't how we are now. i feel like i'm photographing unfulfilled dreams. this year we've survived so well but that's the extent of what we've done. we've managed to preserve our love and our lives but nothing more. if you ask me what i'm waiting for, i wouldn't be able to explain. i feel like we're on the verge of something big in our lives.
it's a feeling i can't describe.
Are you a lister?
1 year ago
1 comments:
Hey honey. Is everything ok with your Boo? Perhaps you're having the two year blues, it's when your relationship is familiar, but gets a bit stagnant, because you are so used to each other, the lust and original passion is slowly seeping out of the relationship.It's tough, you might feel insecure about your emotions, like, if the love is still there etc... But you'll get through it, it's a bit of a rough patch, but you'll be fine :-)
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