A New Project.

I could explain all the reasons I haven't written, but I'm not sure any of those thoughts are worth describing now. I've simply felt a loss of inspiration, or maybe even a fear of what inspiration I have left.

I recently considered starting a new blog. A quirky and bluntly honest viewpoint of being recently single and newly 21, (which has so far led to many adventures) and I actually completed an entire first post, saved it in a word document, and woke up to find that the file format could no longer be re-opened. After losing what I had spent hours writing, I thought it might have been a sign. I gave up, wondering if maybe the time for it just wasn't right.

I'm searching for anything to make me feel alive now. Some nights I've felt alive dancing to the rhythm of music, surrounded by strangers. Other nights I feel alive when I'm alone with my ipod and a glass of wine.

After my breakup this year I want nothing else but to have my life back. I want my heart back, my head back, my dreams back. None of these things have been mine. They've belonged only to him, and I'll do anything to escape that now. I was thinking while in the shower earlier (where I truly do most of my thinking) and I wanted to write a goodbye letter to him. One that I'd never intend for him to read. I even started writing it in my head. It hasn't yet made it through to my fingers meeting my keyboard, but I came across the tumblr of a writer and photographer I adore who recently started participating in a 30 day project, and it seemed to call to me.


So in addition to my Project 365, for 30 days coming soon, I'll be writing a letter to these people.


Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

I hope this new project will serve as a healthy place to vent, but what I'm really hoping I'll have after these 30 days is my inspiration back. Maybe this will consolidate my dreams, my heart, and my head. I want to write again. I need this.