unpublished, unedited. (06)

i want to swim. i want to bathe in sunlight. i want to read more often. i want to eat funnel cake for breakfast. i want to eat breakfast for dinner. i want to get lost in a book store. i want to smile at strangers. i want to sit in the grass and play scrabble. i want to watch foreign films without needing subtitles. i want to sew a dress while wearing nothing. i want to sleep naked. i want my room to be filled with sunlight. i want the sky to be cloudy. i want tea and sweaters to keep me warm. i want your body to keep me warm. i want to hear music everywhere. i want to wear a skirt everyday. i want to drive with bare feet. i want to see with my eyes closed. i want to settle and wander all at once. i want windblown hair that makes its own decision of what it sees fit. i want to fall in love in every city. i want to fall in love with every city. i want to rise before the sun. i want to sleep until the moon appears. i want to ride a bicycle through empty sidewalks. i want to be invisible and wander unseen. i want to be uninhibited. i want to exist in an environment without disturbing it. i want to make breakfast wearing only underwear. i want to own no makeup. i want to feel naked fully clothed. i want to feel music. i want the music to drown out my voice. i want my voice to drown out the music. i want to dance. i want to be submerged in a pile of books. i want to be submerged in bath water that never grows cold. i want another language to replace my own. i want to remain in love. i want to remain in bed with him an hour longer every morning. i want the sun roof open and the windows down. i want the sun in my eyes. i want an orgasm to last for days. i want my heart to race only for love and never for fear. i want to understand my own beauty without someone to translate it to me. i want to learn from literature and experience. i want to play in the snow and not lose the feeling in my fingers. i want a fireplace in every room. i want a movie to feel just as new as the first time i saw it. i want to revisit my childhood for one day. i want to simply want a shower, never need one. i want to my perception, reflection, and pictures to be the same.

(This was written on 6/13/09)