today was tiring.

the sun is exhausting and unforgiving, and i've got tan lines to prove it. there are words that have been at the tip of my tongue today, but i'm almost sure that my mind subconsciously abandons speaking them. when my mind and body excercise free will, it makes life seem intimidating. to fathom your personal limits is a strange experience, because you suddenly realize that you are your only restraint. you maintain the life that you think society accepts, and requires you to be. in my mind the 500 dollars in my account is not my own. i see that it belongs to paying the rent, utilities, and food for where i choose to live. i forget that my life is my own.

but at this very moment, there isn't one thing i couldn't attempt. i could sneak out of my bedroom window unseen and hitchike across america if i chose to do so. i could buy a plane ticket to any location, buy 500 dollars worth of oh, say cracker jacks, and abandon my ability to speak and use only sign language until the day i die. i could burn my bras and never look back. i could scream at the top of my lungs in a library. or i could simply leap off of a building.

to imagine what we are capable of doing, and what we restrict ourselves to doing represents the idea that we are only as free as we allow ourselves to be. we are slaves to the idea of consequence and judgement. it is both what keeps us alive, and what keeps us from living.